The Goonies

Boteach Sex Book Number One Crown Heights Summer Read

Rabbi Shmuley BoteachRabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy” was the most checked-out nonfiction title in the Crown Heights branch of the Brooklyn Public Library this summer. But what books made up the rest of the top ten?

DNAinfo reports that Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book “Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy” was the most checked-out nonfiction title in the Crown Heights branch of the Brooklyn Public Library this summer.

Hasidim were busy readers this summer, and FailedMessiah.com has decided to leap into the (sensible) gap in DNAinfo’s reporting to post the entire combined Top 10 list of checked-out fiction and nonfiction books at the Crown Heights branch, as combined Crown Height’s favorite retired men’s mikva attendant, Reb Mendel Loofish, who phoned in his report on his iPhone3:

1. Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. 2. Likkutei Sichot of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Transliterated Edition with Ouija Board cover. 3. Tanya, ESL Edition. 4. How To Con Anyone Out Of Almost Anything Anytime You Want To, by Bernard Madoff. 5. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Yiddishkeit But Don’t Because You Were Drunk Out Of Your Mind At So Many Farbrengens In Crown Heights And Hung Over After Them by by the Lakewood chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous. 6. Mortgage Flipping and Phone Card Scams in 9 Easy Steps by Rabbi Mendel Ploni. 7. 100 Reasons The Rebbe Isn’t Really Dead And 100 More Proving He Is The Messiah, compiled by those dayanim on the Crown Heights Bais Din who are, thank G-d, not being incredibly chutzpadik by fighting the Rebbe’s malchus. 8. How To Convert Pretty Rich Women To Judaism For Fun and Profit by Rabbis A. Shemtov, M. Kotlarsky, B.S. Cunin, and R. Perlman. 9. The Complete Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries Boxed Sets, specially censored to remove all mention of non-kosher animals, holding hands, mixed dancing and bacon. 10. How To Steal Your Local Shul’s Building For The Glory Of The Rebbe And His Chassidus, by Rabbis Y. Krinsky, A. Shemtov and M. Kotlarsky, official Kehos edition.

Enter Efraim Diveroli (not Spicoli)

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s Nephew Arrested On Arms-Related Charges

Efraim Diveroli Efraim E. Diveroli, the brash young Miami Beach arms dealer who landed a $300 million contract with the Pentagon to buy and ship munitions to Afghanistan only to have it unravel in a sprawling criminal case, was in custody again in Florida on Monday, facing new federal charges.

Efraim Diveroli Charged in New Weapons Case
C. J. CHIVERS • New York Times

Efraim Diveroli

I’m a Giu Guinny

Efraim E. Diveroli, the brash young Miami Beach arms dealer who landed a $300 million contract with the Pentagon to buy and ship munitions to Afghanistan only to have it unravel in a sprawling criminal case, was in custody again in Florida on Monday, facing new federal charges.

~Why havent we chucked these people out of our lands yet?

And in other news- Jewish buggery slams Paris

Another Chabad Child Sex Abuse Scandal Erupts – This Time, In Paris

Rebbe

Meet me in the tween chatroom

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2 Responses to The Goonies

  1. inbabylon says:

    Mel, is that list of books actual, satire, or a combination thereof?

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